I tried everything I knew to get out of that closet of pain. I drank impressive quantities of alcohol, took dangerous amounts of drugs, went deeply into eastern religions, the occult, and unhealthy relationships. But these things gave me nothing more than a temporary relief, after which I was worse off than before. I became more and more depressed, fearful, anxious, and hopeless, until finally I couldn’t stand the pain any longer. I wanted to die. Actually, I didn’t want to die. I just saw no other way out of the pain that was so debilitating I could no longer live with it. So I planned to kill myself with sleeping pills, as soon as I could get my hands on enough of them to do the job right.
And I longed for a personal connection and close relationship with a loving God. The cold, distant gods of my occult practices and eastern religions were not able to change me from the inside out the way the God of the Bible could, nor was unconditional love communicated from them.
Right after I received Jesus as my Savior that day in Pastor Jack’s office, I noticed a difference in my life. I had a feeling of peace, of being accepted, of being cleansed from all my past failure, of starting over with a clean slate. And I felt love, joy, and hope for the first time. I also had a growing sense of purpose, and I began to see a future for my life. As I grew in God’s Word, I learned to walk in His way. I became better able to make right choices. And with the Holy Spirit’s leading and enablement, I could resist falling back into old habits of doing things that were not God’s will for my life. As I moved into the deliverance and freedom He had for me, I gradually became free from depression, anxiety, and fear.
I learned about the power of prayer and the great things that can happen when we pray. I learned about the importance of worshiping and praising God and the transformation that takes place in our souls when it becomes our priority. I learned that the more I obeyed God, the more I changed. In fact, God changed me and my life so much over the years that today I hardly recognized myself from the person I used to be. And the best part is that I know what He did in me, He can do in anyone. That’s why my goal in life is to help others find that same freedom, healing, restoration, fulfillment, and purpose that I have found. I want them to know the wonderful life-transforming power of God’s love and all that He has for them, so they can become all He created them to be.